I'm a good keep-in-toucher. I have friends from my childhood. My longest friendship is with a woman - a pair of sisters, actually - whom I met when I was seven years old in Connecticut. Steph was my best friend through grade school, and she and her younger sister Robin always played with me. I was at their house every weekend, and on many summer camping trips.

Steph, Robin, Diane

Their family was and is like my family. I haven't actually seen the entire family for years. The last time I was in Connecticut was just before I moved to Hawaii in 1996, but driving down their old street felt just like I always remembered it. Or maybe a bit smaller, since I grew a little bigger.

Steph, Robin, me

I remember going to ride horses at a ranch, touring farms, picking honey raspberries, spending school breaks at their lake house, trying to windsurf, swim team, and the excitement of going for Mc Donald's french fries after swim team if their older sister, Lisa, picked us up.

Steph is to my right

I was the only Asian kid in Connecticut at that time, and Steph used to stand up for me when the other kids made fun of my slanty eyes. She was the popular girl, and I got lucky that affiliation carried a lot of weight!

Find the Asian girl

I remember camping, playing in the ice cold creek, and then burning holes in my sneakers because I tried to dry them too close to the fire and then forgot about them. One summer her family took me along as they did a road trip from Rocky Hill, CT, to California. I got to see all kinds of cool sights along the northern route.

Yellowstone- Robin, Steph, me

I remember talking about boys and first cars, college classes and serious loves, marriage and buying our first house. And now kids. Where did the time go?

Steph's graduation party from U Conn. I flew from Hawaii.

New York City, 1999- Steph, me, Robin

Jon and Steph flew to Hawaii for my wedding

Now we share tips on child rearing or compare the price of private schools. And it's still fun. Her little girl, Amanda, looks exactly like Steph, which makes me more nostalgic to see photos.

Steph's latest tip to me is about toilet training. "After Olivia is actually going potty regularly, just tell her to wipe 'til there's no more brown." Love it.

Though there have been years and miles between us, I appreciate that we have a bond that's held fast all this time. A good friend is hard to find, and I'm lucky to know them. The only thing that would make ours better is if we could see each other more often!

Friends come and go,
but with a precious few you should hold on.
Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle,
because the older you get,
the more you need the people
who knew you when you were young.

Claus hurt himself in jujitsu the other night. I got a call from Sensei to come pick my husband up because he can't drive. Luckily, my housemate was home and could drop me off at the dojo. I asked the neighbor to stay with Olivia, and we left.

At the dojo, I collected my injured husband, took his bags to the car, drove his vehicle home (and I hate driving big cars!), loaded his gi in the washer, cooked him a snack, iced his arm, helped him in the shower, and hung around in case he needed me to open a shampoo bottle or something. I hunted for the bandages in the cabinet while I waited.

The puffy hand

He asked me for help soaping up his good arm. After I finished, I asked with concern, "Are you OK? Need anything else soaped?" Like, maybe he would get too lightheaded to lean over and wash his legs or something.

He grinned and said, "Welllll... now that you ask..."

I shot him a look. "Yup. You're fine. Your towel's on the counter. Bye."

When I was pregnant, a friend advised me to hire a doula. A what? The whole maternity experience was new to me, and I had no idea what that was.

According to Wikipedia, "A doula is an assistant who provides various forms of non-medical and non-midwifery support (physical and emotional) in the childbirth process. Based on a particular doula's training and background, the doula may offer support during prenatal care, during childbirth and/or during the postpartum period. A birth doula provides support during labor. ...and then complete supporting the birth at a hospital or a birth center."

So, she's not a midwife, she's not a birth coach. She's like a friend, but with a lot of experience. Good enough. On that, and the strength of Clare's vigorous recommendation that I specifically hire Patti Edwards, I got myself a doula.

I think the spaciness that I now exhibit began way back when I was pregnant. I remember calling Patti and setting up the appointment. She explained how she works, and sent over a contract. I forget a lot of the details, but it was about $300, which included two pre-birth meetings to get to know us, and one massive all nighter at the hospital during the birth.

She was worth it.

When my water broke, I called Patti, and she met us as the hospital. She sat with me, held my hand, told me stories, and took care of me. What I really liked was that she had been through the process many, many times before, and was able to translate for me what was happening. She could tell me what should happen, and what was going to happen next. I remember her quizzing the nurses about something or other, and I felt confident that I had someone who knew their way around, who was totally on my side.

My husband is lovely, but he's new to this. My parents fall asleep if they sit still for more than five minutes. My mother doesn't even remember much about my own birth, so there is no way she could advocate for me during my childbirth. Besides, I didn't think they should have to pull the all-nighter that Olivia's birth became. Better they come the next day, all rested.

In the delivery room, it was just Patti, me, and Claus. I made Claus sit at my head. There is no way I wanted him to experience all the junk in my trunk. It was OK that Patti sat there. She held my leg and talked to me, and apparently I threw up on her several times.

I don't even remember, but I was told that's what people do in great pain. Pretty impressive, huh? Considering she was all the way at my feet. I'm so Matrix-like. I can projectile vomit. A new skill!

Some ten hours later, Olivia was born, and I'm thankful Patti remembered to snap a shot. Claus and I were so tired (um, me a little more so) that we completely forgot. If it weren't for her, we wouldn't have the photos of Olivia in the first minutes of this life.

Claus fell asleep on the chair, and Patti talked to me for a bit before leaving. You would think I'd have fallen asleep right away, but I couldn't. It was a weird feeling, like when you run a race and then you can't sleep that night. Too much adrenaline.

In the weeks after Olivia was born, I called Patti a few times for advice and support. My whole world shifted, and she was there again, with kind, gentle reassurance. I was certainly glad to have her help. So if you're wondering what a doula does, and if you should hire one- my answer is definitely yes.

When Beth Hillyer comes to town, we try to get together with the kids. She has adorable twin boys who are a year younger than Olivia. We spent some time at Bishop Museum.

The Great Lawn is a nice place for active toddlers to let off steam. I notice Beth always shows up in running shoes now!

Beth and the boys

Corralling kids

This is the first time Olivia was able to remotely appreciate the museum. She's two and a half. While the kids's museum is nice, we also wanted to check out the newly remodeled Hawaiian Hall.

On the second floor, there's a nice little interactive display of Hawaiian items for the kids to play with. This, she liked the best.

As we were leaving, we saw a demonstration on the ground floor. It was live actors preforming a scene from Hawaii's history. The second floor has a loft so you can look down. Olivia watched in fascination for a few minutes, and then she pulled up her dress and flashed the actors and audience below. Nice.

It happened. The first big transition of Olivia's life. She left her crib for her Big Girl Bed, and it was a sad night. For me!

She was able to crawl in and out for months now, but she usually didn't. She liked the crib. She was in that when she was three days old and home from the hospital. Then she slept with me for some months, but after the nursing was over, she was back to the crib. We used it every single night for about one and a half years.

The crib moved to three different places in the house. First, we set it up in our room. We thought it would be more convenient for me to get up and nurse in the middle of the night. That is, until I realized it was easier still to sleep with her and kick Claus out of the bed. It's a major blur, but I think I slept with Olivia for about eight months.

We started a massive home remodel when she was just three weeks old, so as each room got worked on, we moved the crib around. At some point, it was in the guest room, and then finally, after we built it, her own room.

Recently, we realized it was just time to take the crib out. For a week, I talked up the virtues of a real bed. I sold her on the idea that she could cram not just some, but all her stuffed animals in bed now, since we gave her a queen sized mattress. (Queen sized: It's not to spoil her. It's so that I can comfortably nap with her if I want to.) Claus promised her a fancy schmancy new sheet set in pink.

The weekend it happened, Claus and I were a little nervous that she would miss the crib. But she didn't! She went right into her Big Bed and that was that.

I can't believe I'm the one who actually is taking this harder. Like, I'm spending my evening blogging about a crib and looking for photos of it. I'm insane. If this is any kind of precursor, I wonder what kind of a mess I'll be when I see her off to her first day of preschool?!